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Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Hey all.
Today's entry is pretty late.Was about to log off my comp but i feel that this entry is a must.My friends all have different commitments and dreams.I too have dreams.Firstly to get my Law diploma in a year.No fucking way am i going to screw this oppurtunity.Secondly,I still want to be a golf professional.Well,National Service will definitely hinders it but im a Singaporean.Serving the Nation is a must.Hell yeah ! From boys to men ? What fucking utter nonsense to a certain extent.
So ive been thinking.With so little time and such packed schedule.Even if i have feelings for people or the other way around,I dont think i can commit myself to a relationship.Well for now i dont think anyone is interested in this ever-chaging me.I did this anime quiz and i ended up as Hisoka.Unstable and a liar.Bleah.Well,its true to a certain extent.I am a HYPOCRITE.Yes i act and treat others differently.Only my besties knows how i act.
Well speaking of relationships,why should i even bother ? im grateful that if there is anyone out there even interested in me.Hey,its not that im a heartless asshole or anything.Its just that nothing have ever went right for me.People change out of sudden.Leaving me fucking clueless and depressed.Some even change their partners like tissue paper.One week different person and other week different person.WTF ? I thought this things are suppose to be treasured.Sex,my friend told me having sex is like eating rice.That guy is an asshole.Not all guys like that yea ladies ? I have no experience im afraid i might bore you to sleep.wahahahah !!
Fuck it ok ? my life is like planned.1 yr Diploma,2 yrs NS then im a freeloader and can do whatever i want.For now i dont have any bit of excitement.My dear cuzzie said she would bring colours to my life.LoL !! My emotions are mixed.My heartless side is telling me to dump all this useless petty emotions.You dont need it to survive.Where as my still saint side is telling me to endure this and emotions will brighten not only myself but others around me as well.
Damn,i really need help.What kind of help ? i dont know.I want to know what i need to know.So people tell me what you know that might help me what im trying to know.Hmm am i confusing you ? hahahahhah !! that was my purpose.I still appreciate those who still consider me their friend despite all the fucking nasty shit i did to them.Im horrible.Just kill me.One thing that worries me that i might kill you before you kill me.
Sorry for this rather vulgar entry.I need to know.Maybe you can help me ?
Currently listening to X Japan - Endless rain/Tears
Phew.. I'm still alive...