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Wednesday, July 19, 2006
I cried myself to sleep yesterday.Funny right ? for someone who dosent think for others but only for himself.Interested to know more ? Read on ! before that,this going to be a length entry and maybe a few vulgarities will be used.I dont usually mean when i used vulgarities.Why ? cause when im pissed with someone no point using vulgarities.Just bashed that fuck face up.
IF YOU DONT LIKE IT , GO FUCK OFF ! no one is asking you to read my blog.Its my personal space.
Still here i see ? Alright here i go then..
Tuesday.I reached school around 1.40.Later then usual.Dad called me a gay.Coz i was busy clipping my hair here and there.Ok enough of that.Met Shafiq and Ong near the lobby to smoke.People i dont smoke ok ? its them.haha.So i went up the class first.Entered the class and saw 2 white people.Stared at the guy who happened to be bald..and smiled.stared at the lady..and then smiled.Head my way to the back of the classroom.Well that was where i was seated.I happened to found out those people are People from UOL.The Baldy was the Professor there and the lady... a Librarian.haha ! Dosent look one at all.The Prof gave a short lecture on the exams and stuff.The lady ? taught us how to use the library access to UOL through the net and stuff.Being a librarian,she spoke too soft.Too much time spent in the library i suppose.We made noise as usual during the Londoners presentation.Some went out of the class.Guess what? as soon as they left..we got fucked.Not literally though.It was already 3.40pm by then.Our break time..after bitching,Maya told us we can go back.Back ? its lunch dammit.I bet those were the thoughts that were passing through my classmates mind.
She told today was special and since the UOL people came down,we didnt have any CLRI class today.So yeah.$1.35 gone for my journey to school.Come to think of it,after that i realised i got alot of spare time.Dear was finishing school but had netball.So i buzzed her and told her this and that and she didnt went training.Sorry dear.Told dad i was meeting her.
Bla bla bla..stuff happened.Look at stars ... dad smsed me and the other shitty stuff.Since was bloody late.I cabbed home.I knew dad was fuming.So after bathing,praying and having a late dinner.( House rule ) no matter if we are hungry or not..we have to eat our dinner.Then got my lecture by dad.It was already 910 when i reached home.Getting lectured once in awhile is good i suppose.Smack me back right on track.Firstly i didnt think for my mother.She' still up so that she can wait for me to eat dinner.Yet,she still have to wake up at 4.30am the next day to get my siblings up for school.Shit ! i didnt thought of that.Poor mum.Mum im sorry.After that..dad lectured me on Mary.He asked me whether her parents didnt mind she came back late.If they didnt mind that means her family wasnt good and in turn she wasnt good.Was pissed actually.Then he continued..If they are..and yet she is coming back late.It in turn is my fault and hers.Me being the BF should sent her home early.Sigh,that was totally true.How can i neglect something so important ? If her parents found out that she's always coming back late from meeting me,They would definitely have a bad impression on me.Another matter i neglected.So much for being tactical.They then i was already tearing.Its not because dad's words were harsh.Thats normal but i realised i was being selfish and ignorant.I am taking things for granted.I have to know the path ive taken is different from other 18 yr olds.
Law studies is no walk in the park.If i dont work hard,i will be betraying so many people.My grandmother whom i promised i will definitely pass.My mum and dad who sacrificed so much for me.Lastly dearie..Sigh..If i dont work hard.What the shit am i suppose to do in the future.After the lecture.I bowed to my dad and really apologise.I bet he didnt expect that.I heard my HP sms ring tone .. " SAY SAY SAY HOOOO " when i checked,It was dearie.She overslept and missed her stop.This made me realised more.In my mind this happened " hey stupid ! she lives at tampines damn it.Why did you make her go back late. " i teared even more realising how selfish i was.She said it was ok.. but being any reasonble thinking human,I should realise and send her back ASAP.Her parents should be worried.Sigh..Im so extremely sorry.
So that was what happened yesterday.I know it was all my fault.Thats why i didnt argue back with my dad.Even if i did,my face would be deform i tell you.I think he was close to hitting me though.
Ok next problem.I realised i have made a fool out of myself when meeting syafiqs and dearie's classmate.I KNOW I DID WRONG.You both are a couple right ? one of you telling me is enough.I dont need to hear the same thing twice.I know you care for me.I appreciate that.Actually you forgot something.I dont forget things .. well maths formula is an exception.For money matters like my fare back and forth.IT DOSENT MATTER.It was all a joke ok ? she understands that.Didnt you hear my tone when i spoke ? i was jokingly saying it.If i was serious it would be different.I bet you didnt see my body language at all right ? Oh yeah if you have learnt it you would realise it.Besides .. me coming to her school was ENTIRELY on my own free will.WHY ?! GOD KNOWS WHY ! I dont like to be ordered around.
Coleslaw ? IT WAS ALL A JOKE.Goodness ... cant you see i was grinning like some moronic fucked up clown ? Its all a joke.I know she dosent eat veggie.If i bought her the damn whole coleslaw and she dosent eat it.Waste money right ? then again.Money is not AN ISSUE !! Different people ? Sigh..Dont judge like you really know me 100%.No one knows me.Max 80% ? Thats only Obo.Showing and thinking that i deserve her.I dont show to the public.I showed to her.Well thats how i feel..Unlike Syaf who really show his emotion im not like that ok ? i was brought up not to show any signs of emotion that would result in people stepping our head.This world is not just a bed of roses.
Find i admit i done wrong.Yes thats true.Before lecturing me.THINK ... have you done anything that might have offended me ? Just think.Maybe yes maybe no.If you realised good.So take that as a yes ok ? Its only that ive kept quiet.Do you possibly think you can win a Law student in talking ? I will write for you an essay on things that you have offended me.Dont ask me what.THINK.
Now i wish i would have listened to my dad and fucked off from Singapore to Australia and stayed there just training golf.Come back go take my Pro license.Earn Money and shut the fuck up.
Im done here.Thats if you read till the end.
I realised my mistake and i sincerely want to apologise those who are involved.
Au revoir mon ami
Phew.. I'm still alive...